Western Brat is a now project - still work in progress - sometimes something happens
My personal research is about differences, understandings or misunderstandings between people from "west" and people from "east". To be more exact between me - born in Soviet Union and you - born in Scandinavia.
Why I am so nasty and you are so kind.
before fare trade market
after fare trade market
KNITTING - Trying to sell my cloves.
So what else I have done, knitting the cloves. One calves take 8 hours, it means one day. So lats make fare trade market here. How big is your celery of one day?
Would you like to buy them?
No, and you?
They are local, really local, I made them here, during the residency.
Okey, how about mens calves? I hope it is is bigger, it took 1 and a half day yo make mens calves.
Would you like to buy it?
Do you know why I am making them? Because I can not just sit in a bed and watch TV or if I read I feel a loser. I simply just need to knit. I can not be with out knitting. So, what will be the fare trade system here. I just need to give the cloves to people who can not be without cloves. Do you know anybody, anybody who CAN not live without them. It would be fare trade.
There was 3 people who knew somebody who can not live without cloves and with one woman we met next day. She give me a painting what she did with 2 days. There are Tromso mountains. Money did not have fare value.
"My CV" - Artist Talk
- when I was a kid I lived in a soviet union
- my childhood was happy
- I lived in a small town called Vändra
- all girls did acrobatic and boys restling
- i started with acrobatic
- I had 4 sisters
- there was no men's work and woman's work in our family
- i was getting older
- moved to Tallinn - which is the capital of estonia
- people were asking from me; do you really want to do?
- never tasted banana before
- times started to change.
- perestroika came
- our country sing it self free
- people were asking from them selves; do i really want it?
- went to dance field
- traveling with mister Soros money
- tasting banana fhirst time in my life.
- getting a really good critics in New York Times
- went to theatre field
- being one of the chosen, the most important uprising eastern (european) artists in Europe
- they started to give good advice, how to make performances to be successful in a European festivals market
- I was asking from my self; do i really want it?
No, I did not, I did not want that people from rich european countries feel sorry abut me, that I am poor eastern artist, eastern artist who has not read books about art and society. Who does not know anything abut neoliberalism and postmodernism. I did not accepted the help what they offered
- I went to music and literature.
- I felt free - me, as ex soviet union citizen
- felt so free, because we did not work for money. there was no freelancer art support at all in estonia
- felt that I can do what ever I want to do, how ever I want
- directing an opera in Sweden
Yes, the topic was Hitler and bad, bad Germany. I thought that they invited me because I have different view, we estonians we loved Hitler, They saved us from Stalin, from Russia, yes only for a moment, but still.
No, they asked me, because I am a woman and feminism is really important for Sweden and Finland. And also because because a woman is fine to stay in a small, humble room.
- then i fell in love with finnish man who was an actor of this opera.
- feeling fhirst time in my life respected as a woman
- asking from my self; do i really want to be part of it?
- fro sure I wanted it
But it was a big mess, we could not find any topic to talk friendly instead of weather. He said; Good Swedish banks are almost banckroubd because of greedy estonians, latvians and lithuanians. You took to many lawns. Swedish banks we wanted to help you, but look, what you did?
- feeling fhirst not respected as a human been from ex soviet union
- I was asking again from my self do I want to do it.
- learning how to wash dishes with not running water
- learning how to care about girls in Africa
- how to be vegetarian
- how to send bad quality products back to shops
- how not to keep car motor running while i am not driving
- how this is still family even husband and wife have different wallets and bank accounts
- how to be ME, not US always.
- learning about woman's right
- how to be better person
- how to care more
- valuing everything in every moment again and again
- asking from my self; do i really want to do it?
- I was pissed of about everything and wrote a poem:
as we sony have he/she in estonian - no gender difference in language - only something that one could call IT in germanic languages i therefore read the next poem using HE but meaning HE/SHE
Western Brat is rich
he can buy himself what he wishes
He can travel where and when he wishes.
Western Brat is free,
he can also not buy or travel,
He can choose what he wants.
Western Brat is good
and has a great sense of empathy
He can cry over deaths of strangers.
Western Brat loves,
he loves his abandoned children
and naturally cares and takes responsibility.
Western Brat obeys the law.
he always fastens the seatbelt and opens it
when the car has really stopped.
Western Brat has rights
to miss a day from work, when she has her period
he can be absent when in mourning.
Western Brat ride their car slow and easy,
they have time and wisdom, they have a right to live,
and leave others alive.
Western Brat does not waste water,
his taps don't trop, joints don't dribble
he washes his dishes in two different steal sinks.
Western Brat's wife doesn't have to fuck with a man,
she doesn't have to use a spiral or count days.
Western Brat has a lot of complaints,
allergy against dusty room, allergy against stress,
might have depression or alcoholism gene.
Western Brats are helpful,
they help and care and teach
all others, who cannot live like them.
Western Brats don't cry out loud,
they don't pick fights nor offend
they know that in the end they are right.
Western Brats lie
lie to themselves and then to others,
they are good people, they really don't harm others.
Western Brat's doghouse is heat insulated,
children are loved and taught – school is near home.
Dog's shit is picked with a plastic bag.
I'm not free, I'm not rich, I have few rights,
sometimes I speed, sometimes I cheat and steal.
I get offended and I offend others,
I cry and beat and pick fights.
My taps drip.
My mind baulks.
I must be healthy
My rooms are dusty and stress is high, allergy is my character.
My identity is poverty and lack of freedom of choice.
I have to sleep with man.
My dog shits on the pavement and is cold in winter.
I'm embarrassed to pick up dog shit.
I'm no Western Brat of yours!
- our love endid
- I went to the countryside
- searched for freedom there
- started to write a book
- making cucumbers
- selling cucumbers 2 euros per can.
- all my western friends were laughing about me, 2 euros is not money, I can send 2 euros for you every week , if you want.
- making deal with one restaurant
- i get 100 euros per month
- opening residency in my countryside place, it is free of charge and not only for artists it is for everybody, who need time in solitude.
- starting the big project Knit The World
- making an exhibiting, every day one picture from kitchen window just to force my self to be there.
- hanging them to the open please in train station tallinn
- people steal all of them with 3 weeks, sometimes send a photo to me with the new home of photo.
- enjoying it
- making a performance, what was 10 times sold out
- getting lot of fans
- feeling like rockstar
- feeling frightening
- playing my performance with out fee (we had a 50 -50 of tickets)
- getting 26 euros per performance
- they asked do I want to play it more?
- saying no, i do not really want to play it anymore with that deal.
- asking, does my audience needs it?
- getting answer no, you should want to do it
- asking from my self; do i really want do it?
- giving a workshop for professional european artist
- not showing for producers any result
- we shoot documentary film about how, we visited estonian artist , how we were having great parties and how we every day arguing, why we are here, why this EU money is important to but in this workshop.
- getting same amount of money as participants got.
- listening accusations, how horrible I am, how we people from ex soviet union are so rough, we do not care about human beens. how we do not care about producers who came to see the result of workshop.
- they wanted to have peaceful week and make good showing
- i offered big mess and lots of questions
- now I am here in Trosmo.
- getting 6 bananas, bread and chees when i arrived.
- asking from my self; do i really want be here?
- Russian green men are in Ukraine.
- NATO military units are in Estonia.
- i remember one performance where was the question,
- what is the thing you die for?
- all western people said - family
- all eastern people said - freedom
- I pretend that our republic will be soon 100 years old,
- our Presidental institution just leave the soviet time out, they do not account it, like it was never happened, the soviet times
- this is fairy tail, yes,
- but I remember these times, it was real.
- this official fairy tail? is possible only because of juristic detail.
- yes, we know how to make fairy tails, we have lived in soviet union.
- what is real, what is reality?
- is the money really measuring values? is the art real, life at all, some numbers or names at least…..?
- I dont know
- is it good time to talk now about politics?
- we make art, not war.
- but i feel still same
- i feel nobody, ugly, nasty, rustic and invisible stranger.
- asking from my self do I really want to be like that?
- yesterday send the text message to ingvil, that I am feeling bad and I am sik.
- getting the answer late night:
hei kaja, so sorry, how are you feeling? Is there anything you need? food? medication? extra layer of clouthes for person suit?. I can pick you up tomorrow. let me know. take care.
- feeling more quilty, how western people can be so careing?
- it can not be real
this is good to come for a while here to the north and feel this complex again and again, like germans are coming to estonia to enjoy the pain.
in tromso 29.04.14